Weekend and being a wing woman

Firstly happy belated stuff your face and get fat day. And what nots. So it's been awhile since I've posted so let me update you guys. So thursday (thanksgiving) was my last marching band game of this year :( My dad came my cousins came I saw a few people from the rival school I knew and some friends were there. So this is the annual game it happens every year between my highschool and our rival highschool one town over. There's a big parade then the game. We went there really not expecting to win because honestly I think we have won like two games out of the whole season... Anywho we get the first touchdown and I'm like ok it was a mistake it's not gonna happen again. Then we got another one and I stood up and I'm like ohhhh we are actually trying to win this game today huh?! Lol so we play some songs in the stands and the other band does too. But it gets real when they steal one of our cadences we were shocked. Then we played it after them but way louder and waayy better. But then they played jump on it which is like one of our best songs and we got offended so we faced them and played a remixed version of let me clear my throat and jump on it. We totally demolished there band nonetheless. And our flag twirlers were much better too, but they had our cheerleaders beat. We ended up winning the game 26-20 and we managed to stay in the lead throughout the whole game. It was a great way to start my turkey day. So I drive up to my grandmas house after the game in Timbuktu and I stuff my face with ham Mac and cheese fried chicked BBQ chicken corn bread and a whole bunch of other stuff. So many family members came I didn't even know everyone! But later on I became the DJ and I'm playing all the old school music and everyone is jamming out to tony tone Toni and bel big Defoe and Eric benet and we are having a great time singing our hearts out (rather off key I might add) my dad swore he had better music than me so he stole the plug and we had a dj battle he tried to hit the family with Erika Badu but I took it and play micheal Jackson and some new school weekend songs then back to old school. I won. Lol after that I went to the room to lay down for a bit cause I was sooo full, I woke up two hours later everyone's gone and there is no more food.not was hilarious but I managed to get one of the last pieces of my grandmas famous cheesecake. Delicious! I spent the weekend down at my grandmas wi my younger cousin and on black Friday we went to two different malls. I got her addicted to this bath and body works scrub that smells sooooo good! And I got her hooked on my new favorite YouTube guru who's name is swoozie! I absolutely LOVE swoozie! Like I'm going to marry him and have his little swoozettes and we will live happily ever after playing DOA and cuddling and bumming it while watching anime! Life will be good! Lol Jk. Anyways I ended up somehow going into the city and playing games and Dave and buster for like three hours straight with my cousin and a friend. We got sooooo many tickets and we barely got any prizes they were all so expensive! But I got a ton of candy and I was happy as a lamb. I get back home Sunday and watch the funniest movie ever made in the history of ever! It's called IM GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA! I cracked up watching this movie it was made in like 1988 and it's still the best comedy out there. You better go watch it if you haven't seen it. And when you get to the part with the pimp in the yellow suit, sumbraro, and aquarium platform shoes with live fish in them, pause the movie and take a moment to realize you have just earned 10 black people points. Congratulations! Afte that I procrastinated did some homework and cuddled down and watched the walking dead with hot chocolatay. It was an awesome episode by the way. Then I just ended up falling asleep and that when it got weird. So recently I have been having these very strange dreams that happen like every night. They aren't nightmares it is just the same dream over and over again. I always start off in school. And I go to my locker because that's what I usually do when I get to school, only to find that I am already at my locker. I am watching myself go to my locker and get my stuff. I try to talk to myself and whoever comes by but it's like they cannot hear me. But they can hear the other me who was at my locker. It's strange because I have no control of what other me says or does. I am able to roam freely throughout the school and I can see and hear everyone but it's like I am a ghost they can walk right through me. Other me goes right up to my ex and starts arguing with him. Which I guess isn't to weird since its a dream but then they are speaking and arguing in French. Like fluent French? I'm confused because even I cant understand what they are even arguing about. Other me steps toward him and I thought she was gonna hit him or he was going to hit her. And all of a sudden they are making out? What is going on?! Of course now ghosty me starts yelling at other me to stop what I'm doing. I'm furious...with myself. And they aren't just kissing they are full blown movie make out scene from a crappy romantic comedy movie making out. And I just watch myself do this. I can't do anything about it. Then other me turns towards me and says just because you lost him does not mean that I did. I didn't cry I just got really confused. I tell her but you are me. And if we are the same person then neither of us can have him. She smiles a rather evil smile and She says she can do and have whomever and whatever she likes. And everything goes her way. She tells me she knows that I want to be her. Of course I get angry...with myself and I raise my hand to slap her but it goes right through my face. And suddenly she laughs. Then shadow He looks directly at me but says nothing. I am not sure if he can see or hear me. Other me whispers something to shadow that I can't make out and he smiles very big and almost like he has a secret and suddenly she disappears? And again he is looking right at me. He asks me if he can walk me to class but I look behind me wondering who he is talking to. He practically snatches my hand and drags me to a secluded area. I'm confused and angry amd nervous. And I desperately want to wake up... But before he can say or do anything I stop him and tell him I have to get to class and practically run away leaving him alone. He looks confused when I look back but I just keep running. At the end of the school day he comes to my locker and I start explaining to him everything about our break up and how we don't talk...like ever, and I think he hates me but I'm not sure, my best friend is in love with him on some creppy stalker type status. And he says absolutely nothing. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it quickly he just quickly moves past me to walk away but I catch a glimpse of his face as he does and it almost looks like he is crying. And now I'm completely lost and confused and I feel bad wondering if I said something wrong or I hurt him.mi just didn't know I tried to call after him but he didn't even turn around. I go to run after him but just as I catch up to him I wake up in my bed out of breath... It was the weirdest dream and ive had it like three times. I wasn't angry or even upset at all when I woke up. I actually wanted to go back to sleep to continue the dream and find out what happened and get some answers. My subconscious is obviously trying to tell me something... I just don't get the picture. So I go to school today as usual and I half expect to see another me at my locker but it's reality and no one is there but JD. I was soooo happy to see him it felt like forever since I had seen him. I gave him the biggest hug I have ever given in my entire life and kissed him like it was going to be the last one. I was fine and everything was good. Until band, things got sort of weird at band. So I forgot to bring my uniform to turn it in. But that didn't matter the Escher gave us a free period because we did so well at The last game. So of course everyone is joking and laughing and being funny and having a good time. The drummers isolate themselves to the back room and I thought that was just it. When I get a text from. Friend saying to call this number. I call it and is like a rejection hotline number or something and I laughed and laughed so hard I showed it too my friend Rinny and she cracked up too. But this is all in plain view of the drummers so it felt strange. Later in the class I actually end up bumping right into shadow and because I didn't realize it was him I squeaked because it frightened me. It was sort of embarrassing but he had no reaction besides surprise because we didnt see each other. I half expected him to say something like whoa sorry about that or didn't see out there or even something out of my dream, which totally would have freaked me out. But I had this weird feeling like he had the dream to... No idea why and I know in my head that there is no logical reason why he would have even had that dream. Anyway so after school JD walks me to my locker and I kiss him goodbye and just as I do shadow walks past and I just feel this awkward sensation creeping up in my stomach. Like he was probably thinking I kissed JD on purpose because he was there, but I hadn't even seen him to he passed us. And it got weird. So then my stalker I mean Emmett a friend since freshman year who is in love with me showed up at my locker. As usual he's everywhere he will show up at my classes and he knows when I go to my locker and he always some how just seems to find me. We have a quick conversation about terpsys and his track season starting before I realize my mom is probably waiting for me. Emmett walks me out of school and I assumed he would stay there but he ended up walking me to the car, but before anyof that when we walked down the steps I had the feeling like someone was just staing right at me and I look down and it's shadow. He wasn't creepy staring but he was definitely looking, and I have no clue why. We haven't spoken or looked at each other in months and it's awkward when we are in the same place. I doubt he knew that I saw him and I could have been wrong and maybe he was just looking in my general direction but then I only wondered more if he had that same dream. Ok so walking towards my car another guy from my grade walks up and he says hello and he and emmett exchange sups. And they end up both walking me to the car to say hello to my mother. They introduce themselves and shake her hand. And Emmett gave me a hug and then we drove away. I'm not gonna lie I felt pretty special with two escorts to my car. Anyway so right now I'm at the hair salon typing this right. And a few minutes ago I got the text from the friend who I was telling you about before. I posted pictures of her conversation she sent to me that she had with shadow, about him hating me. And she's just saying hello at first which is strange because she said she was mad at me because I was basically telling her not to do anything stupid towards shadow because of her own issues she has with me. She likes to make drama for me. And her best way to do that is to constantly bug and harass me about my ex always asking questions about us. Like its over between us and I have learned to accept and cope with it through my blogging. She's not so secretly in love with him which is odd because I dont think to this day they have met in person. She explains to me if I want her to stop being mad at me and quit bugging me about if I have feelings for him that I have to put in a good word for her...WITH HIM! What kind of friend does that? I mean I want her to drop this silly argument and quit harassing me but she knows we aren't on speaking grounds so why would she want me to talk to him and put in a good word for her. She wanted me to be her wing woman so she could talk o my ex?! Really? Lol she's childish sometimes. But she's my friend. So I told her i would try. I'm not sure how to even be a wing woman or how I would even approach my ex after all this time. I don't even think I have his number so I can't even like avoid awkward conversation in person. I wouldn't know what to say because I'm not really sure how to handle the situation or how to talk to him about something so randomly as some other female. He could totally curve me and be like no I don't want to talk of I asked. And that I think would be the worse ca scenario. Plus I have no clue how JD would feel about it. And if I do it will shadow feel as awkward as I'm making it's all sound. Like wow you can't talk to me or even look at me for anything else but you want me to give it a shot with one of your best friends?! Whattt? He could be pissed. Or not care at all how do you even respond to something like that. Uhhh it's all so frustrating honestly. Because if I'm going to confront him about something or speak to him at all I'd rather it not be about some other female and I'd prefer it if it wasn't forced. I feel like it would be an excuse to talk to him, like there's no real point. And he would only go home and bad mouth me to his siblings and his friends, who in turn would only lose some level of respect for me but never really tell me that just be standoffish toward me. I know I'm over thinking it way to much and I should stop being a punk beause this is my "friend" I'm talking about but my mind is telling me that I have to do this the right way or I'll be the one who ends up getting hurt or feel awkward when it's all said and done. I've got this big decision to make and I told my friend I would but deep down I think I'm actually afraid in some way to do it. I might just chicken out. And lie to my friend because how would she know if I did or not right? She should understand if I don't want to right? Or at least respect that I don't want to... I dunno what do you guys think I should do and what do you think will happen? I need your advice now! HELP MEEE! Lol alright time to go my dryer just clicked off. -Blog ya later :)