ehh its whatever...

why make the effort to make sure you dont talk to me dont even look at me and then tell my best friend that you dont wanna talk to me. and its funny. and im waving JD in your face? i respect your feelings and your allowed to have them but at least go to your friends and trash talk me. not one of my friends who is going to come and tell me... sometimes i think you like tearing me apart and leaving me bare bones. and after all this beginning to end i still cant hate you. i still see that i have no reason to. and hate is a tricky thing. almost makes you quesstion do i hate you or do i hate who i am around you or how you have changed? and its odd because i dont even have tears left to cry over you. im sure tear ducts have a capacity because mine are all dried out. but i still feel that little burning sensation like im about to. and its almost like i cant escape. 85 minutes in the same space or the hallway. maybe i should just move? i wont have to deal with these odd feelings. everyone says i should hate you and curse you out. yet since that day i havent been able to say a word to you. i dont know how. i know maybe somewhere in there is the guy i knew but that mask i see now isnt him. and im not going to pretend it is. what do you want from me now? its been how many months? dont you have someone else to pick on. find someone else take everything they have left and hang it over their head. i remember when that was you to... it was like seeing a lost puppy out in the rain. i could have just kept on about my business but no i had to bud in and give my advice and opinion. i wish i didnt feel the urge to help everyone and hurt myself. honestly it sucks. cause your entire family still speaks to me. like we are friends just catching up...that has to be awkward for you to witness but i feel fine with it. its almost unreal how you get to me and have said nothing to me...ok goodnight -Blog ya later...