And I feel good! Yea that's right I'm back I'm out of my funk it's officially over a week since D day and I'm not trying to scratch my eyes out!! I thought I wasn't going to remember how to be single! Boy I was wrong, I have been Chillen out this weekend I spent the night at my girl chichi's house which was nice to get a change in scenery. Then all day today I went to the park with JD and he was trying to show me how to skip rocks all day!!! I still haven't figured it out! He is really good at it and I'm jealous! Then we came back to my house and watched a movie which was fun had some Chinese food it was over all a really good day hanging out and Chillen. I haven't even thought about you know who since just now because he is what I should be writing about! But who freaking cares life's too short and everyone goes through it. Things could be worse and you live and you learn! I'm sooo happy to have gone through it now and figure it out! That's one thing to be appreciative for...I needed this experience...to learn not to depend on any one person for everything...especially happiness... Never give anyone soo much power to take away your own happiness!! Live life with no regrets and love all of your mistakes because there only going to make you stronger! I feel alive as if I was in a deep sleep and now im awake! In no way shape or form in case this is taken the wrong way am I trying to hurt anyone by these posts I'm simply documenting all of my ideas for future reference! I hope it isnt taken the wrong way... And you know who you are, of your reading this for whatever reason...thank you, for everything. Thanks for the time. Thanks for sharing life's crazy cycle with me and thanks for being honest. It was hurtful and you could have said it nicer. But life is harsh people aren't always what they seem. I will always have love in my heart for you and I would be there if you ever should need me but it's time for me to finally move on...opening up Is very hard for me and I appreciate that you tried to get me to...but I'm relieved I didn't...because looking back at it now it would have just made it harder to let go...so thank you
I think I'm falling for him...is this bad? This feeling is foreign to me...this is early for these feelings. I mean right now I would be pulling my hair out crying eating ice cream and all that junk. But around him I'm happy.happy how I used to be. Truly happy, and it's all brand new. But I now remember a hazy memory from months ago when I said the same thing for...he who shall not be named. He was the source I happiness. I fixed he lifted him up when he was down. I put myself in him and he walked away with me. I'm going crazy i know that everything inside me says don't even think about it...but what if I don't take that chance? What if something beautiful could come from it. Should I wait...but I know right now if he were to ask me I would say yes...but then start freaking out whether it was too fast and what my family would think...how dangerous it could be. I keep saying to myself he couldn't do that to me, but I said that about...you know.but not every guy I meet will end up like that. He had every reason to feel the way he felt...we did sort of rush into a relationship.but I thought that was for the better.am I willing to risk it all. Tonight could be the night...whatever happens let me promise myself now...that I won't lose myself and an awesome friend in the process.
On another note....I FEEL FREAKING AWESOME! I forgot how amazing being single is and missed this feeling!free to be me! I can ur and skip and jump without restrictions I can laugh unattractively and act crazy and dance like no one is watching again... Ok someone is texting me...oh it's JD! Gotta go!
-blog ya later!
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