This is when...

This is when im supposed to cry
this is when im supposed to eat all the ice cream and chocolate i can find
this is when i act like everything that we had was never there
this is when im supposed to hate you
this is when im supposed to start rumors
But im not...
im not doing any of that
I should be cursing at someone for no reason
i should be playing demi lovato songs and watching sappy movies
im sitting here like it was any other day
typing all the things i should be doing when someone pulls you to the side and utters those word...the words that can break a girl like me. "can we talk."
well...now i bet its killing you..
what is she thinking
does she love him still?
did she ever love him?
well to tell you the truth right now i feel..
like i wasted my time.
this is why i dont open up to males you just never know whats actually going through their head...
i wasted time texting him, spending hours on the phone with him,at his house, at expensive restaurants, writing on this blog, gushing over what probably wasnt there
as i look on it i saw it comming early today i saw it in his face, i refuse to believe.
i saw it in his best friends faced right before he came up to me
i saw it in his eyes
i saw it...but here i am feeling dumbfounded
i wonder what hes thinking
i wonder what was true...if it was ever true.
i wonder if we can ever be friends
i wonder if i was only there to help you cope..with her
i wonder...
i wonder why im not crying.
where are we left to stand now?
can we ever be friends...
no
can we get back together...
i cant do that to myself
what should i do?
forget about it...give all of the stuff back
closure?
dont need it
unfriend him on facebook?
uneccesary
slap him?
no
what should he do?
to tell you the truth i believe he is perfect for my friend...uhhh tulip...if only you knew the irony of her alias...
any way i think they are perfect for each other they are into all the same things and have things in common she beautiful...but she probably wouldnt...because of me. which is sad.i hope they can see that they are compatible.
what does the future hold for you too?
alot of forced awkward after breakup conversation...
i hope he never misses me..
i hope he never looks back and realizes a mistake
i hope one day i can see him as a friend
i hope one day i can see him as someone i used to love
i hope i can forget all that we have been through
i hope i can forget that this was the worst time for this too happen
i hope i can forget what i was willing to experience together for the first time with him..
because today i had news of my own...
i hope i can relearn how to be single.
all i want to ask is...why
all serious i know you tried to explain it..
but how dare you...in the middle of the hallway people surrounding us..
a two minute conversation...have the audacity to look me in the eye and say
we rushed into anything. tell me you dont love me anymore.
you are the best actor i know..almost had me head over heels..
backflips...almost had me there
had me thinking that i loved you and you loved me
i remember you said you would always protect me...
but you cannot protect me from you...
why did i hand over my heart so quickly knowing what i knew
i knew what i was risking...
i realize how quickly you "got over" your ex
and how quick you were to move on.
im sad that you had to hurt someone in the process
but happy that im strong enough to handle it
but also happy that now maybe you can finally be happy...
take time to do you...
am i stupid...
this is where i say it was your loss and blah blahblah...but no this is obviously whats best for you.
maybe there is someone else involved maybe thats the true reason...
i hope she enjoys you while she has you...before you give her the we are through speech...
i hope you dont break her heart...i hope she doesn't cry. i hope she is just as strong as i am.
i hope as i think of it now that she doesn't break your heart...
because that would give me ohh too much to think about
think about how you left me ended up with her and now your all alone..
that look on your face when i know there is sadness in your heart.
so this is what the quiet after the storm is like. what its like after it is all over and all you can do is remenice and think of what should have been.
i guess there is nothing left to say but...goodbye. have a nice life.