Just because...

well lately shadow (my boyfriend if you don't already know) and I have been having "the talk" and noooo not like that awkward talk with your parents about STD's and where babies really come from... but the talk is where in a relationship you are perfectly fine with saying or asking anything without getting all blushy and awkward. we talk about everything and nothing all at once. It really is a breath of fresh air to knoww what is actually going through his mind...instead of playing that guessing game...we are now on a slightly more physical level now i think which most couples struggle to get to...but you see with my whole face reading mind powers i could tell what i had to do and when.(don't ask) But here comes the super tell all crazy secrets that normally are kept on the DL but since no one i know really reads this besides people i trust and random strangers who get bored and decide to creep on this random girls blog i think i will be fine :)
BUt for right now i gotta go to band rehersal....so hold that thought!
I'm back...so where was i...oh yeaa i was being all dramatic and what not, well im going to tell you guys something pretty personal my first unofficial and first official kiss...
my first unofficial kiss was in first grade with a kid named "Davie" (security reasons keep me from putting real names up). I came from a private kindergarden so i knew no one in first grade... he was the first person i met and we were playing with the legos he got stingy and took some of mine and i threw one at him and he was like ohhh snap this girls fiesty i like her....fast foward like 4 months into school we are about as serious as first graders could get like we were on that sharing juice boxing and crackers kinda level (which is a pretty big deal). when finally i asked him to be my friend who is a boy....meaning boy friend he blushed and then said yes later that day in recess... i told him to make it official he had to propose... so a week later he saved up all his quaters and bought me a ring.... you know the kind i mean a ringpop!!! and he slid it on my finger and kissed my cheek and said now we are friends of each other who are girls and boys...which meant we are dating...
i broke up with him in thrid grade cause we were getting a little too serious you know what i mean he was alll lets play in the sand AND HOLD HANDS... imm like what kinda girl do you think i am....im not a ore (which meant whore) you can boss around...i blame television for my bad language!
and my 1 sort of official kiss was with this guy maybe two or three summers ago... i knew just about as much you could know about a person in three days. for security purposes lets call himm..."Tom" he was cute but i wasnt the girl who was all easy to get to i was all mysterious and what not...anyways he did this thing where he would look me in the eye and say i am 50 now you come 50 (which is a line from hitch starring will smith) it meant he wanted me to kiss him...i pretended i had no clue what he was talking about cause i was pretty nervous i mean he was a year older and i had only known him for like maybe a week now... either way i guess i got tired of waited for me to participate my 50% so he looked at me and said forget it illl come 100% for you... he kissed me and this was unlike anything i had ever experienced before...i could quite understand it...then the unthinkable happened...we went from kissing to french kissing...me being as unexperienced as i was i tried to make it seem like i knew...but after awhile i pulled away. he looked confused as if it had never happened to him before exspecially not someone younger than him. well he came back for more seeing as now i guess his pride was on the line... so thinking back to all the sappy romantic comedys i had watched in my life i copied what i saw... and i guess i was pretty good at it...he pulled away later and his face was all red i could not have possibly prepare myself for what happened next...two things happened which put me into some sort of shocked state
1) he asked if i believed in abstenince...which i immediatly without questioning or thinking it over in my mind said yes i believe to people should be in love before engaging in such deep relationship milestones!
2) i asked why he was red and he told me he could never tell me because it was to embarassing so he stood up and there it was...the first time without their being some sort of hilarious sexual pun delivered by some famous person in a movie...he was...dare i say "aroused" (for the less advance people he was hard...as a rock)
i know this is just as awkward for me to write as it is for you to read because the moment was actually just as it seems... i was frozen unable to move unable to process anything when i got up kissed his cheek and whispered and for the young girl i am i know what i am doing...i threw him a pillow and confidently walked out....i could feel him staring me down as i left him all alone to deal with his male issues...ironically it took it a long time to come out of the room but whatever he was actually doing in there we can leave up to your imagination.
And now for the first partially official first kiss story this is about a person that you all should know...he is the senior i told you about earlier.... now writing this i am already regrettting telling the story because i KNOW shadow will be reading this soon and he personally hates this senior...
well i had invited the seniorwho i am going to call ummm..."eugene" because i am an evil person and its not exactly the mnost attractive anme out there...sorry to all the eugenes out there reading this!!! welll either way Eugene had come over to my house only once before and this time i had invited him and other seniors (cause i was a pimp...not really) to my house for a movie day cause my mom would never let that happen at night with a bunch of seniors...it endedup happening in my ohh to girly purple room cause the TV downstairs didnt work and i could just send everyone home. it was awkward sitting next to him cause he was all stiff next to me and everyone had kinda forced us to sit next to each other on the bed...(sorry shadow) either way his twin sister was at the door and everyone was going down to greet her when he stopped me and pulled me back i knew even before i looked at him what this meant... he leaned in but me being the confident person i am i just rested my forehead on his and looked into his eyes for a second....he looked kinda desperate to kiss me at the moment so i finally just kissed him...it wasn't long because everyone was comming back upstairs...and it was weird because even though i wasn't the most experienced person ever i knew he had been outta practice!....well this is gotta be finished later cause i got a butt load of homework to do!