Lost in translation:

MOM VS. DAUGHTER:
Me and my mom are really really close but we argue just like every1 else.
But the thing is i am really responsible compared to classmates and situation so my theory is because there is nothing for her to be mad at she just gets angry and worked up over nothing. because it would just be inhumane for a mom and daughter to go their whole lifes with out arguing.
we have argued over: my hair, my room (which sounds normal but she is british and my room is one of those rooms where when parents drop there kids off here they scold the kids and say why can't you keep your room neat like hers?), sweat, mail, garbage, my dog etc... but the argument is not the worst part... the bad part is when she finishes spazzing out on me and says well maybe we should get rid of this dog since you don't love her, or my favorite well maybe we should move into a smaller house so you will bring in the mail, maybe we should just cut all your hair off so we won't have to argue over getting bangs, your room is soo messy maybe we should switch rooms. why is she constantly threatening to take stuff away knowing fully well that it doesn't even make sense.
the other day i walked home from school which is unusual because she never lets me walk be cause we live "to far and she doesn't want anything to happen." i call her and tell her me and my frends are going to the park (which happened to be across from where i lived anyway) and passing by our old middle school we decide to drop by and visit old teachers. before i even walk in i text her saying is it ok if i go to TJ first? she responds something like : yea im goin to the supermarket.
i go and visit my teachers and stuff look at how small the lockers are and reminise about the good ole days with my chickas! walking home i call my mom saying well i am walking home i should be there in like ten minutes. she starts ranting where were you why did it take you so long i tell her i was at TJ. she gets frustrated and says why didn't you tell me u were going there i was circling the park and i didn't see you your my one and only child i can't afford to lose you...blah blah blah!
AKA she was mad at me for not telling her where i was. i get home later after hanging at the park and my mom calls me and says you better go walk that dog. which i don't object to i ask my frends to walk her with me so i open my front door just as my mom is comming down stairs and can see us. she backs out of sight then says in a harsh tone "i know there is no one with you" my frends pick up the vibe and get scared.
she explains for me to use the back door and get nala to walk her. mind you walking from the highschool home is like a 3 mile walk and it wsa at least 85 90 degrees that day. so i get to the base ment and pick nala up and attempt to go upstair to pick up water for me and my 2 gurls, but she had locked us down there and we had to just leave. i walk nala with them and they both get home safely and what not. but then more drama happens when i get inside
She sits me down and says i always say turn your fone on after school and tell me where your going and blah blah blah.... which i did i changed plans but i texted her and she responded... little did i know that she had never recieved my text and was just telling me she wasn't at home. she says then well i also tell you that my fone is old and if i don't respond to your text that means i haven't gotten it! but how was i supposed to know that she hadn't gotten it when she did text me something that pertained to what i texted her? we argue how there is no way i would have known that and i did nothing wrong technically because i told her where i was going and asked first if it was ok...it was not my fault she did not get my text...
later she gets on me saying i hadn't picked up the mail in a month and she "had proof" but i showed her the mail on the bed...it wasn't mail for her that is why you didnt get any! she tells me that i have no stress to worry about and school is easy and whatever!... this same day i argued with my dad 2 hours over whether i would be allowed to date my boyfriend anymore... i had just finished finals and a last minute assignment (not bc i left it for a long time but be cause they gave it to me and told me to finish it for tomoro). I ended up finishing my project and breaking up with my boyfriend which was very painful and sad! and i will miss him but we had our share of arguing which happened to be during finials week but since he was a senior he did not have to take them he kept me up all night arguing no sleep at all! if this isn't stress idk what really is then!

love...on the real

When i first saw you i was a afraid to talk to you, when i first talked to you i was afraid to like you. when i first liked you i was afraid to love you, when i first loved you i was afraid to lose you.
Its funny how much of an impact you have on me. It's like when i see you you dont need to speak. All you can do is smile and it can make my day...thats how i remember my reasons for loving you. And all tho my heart is broken i still love you with every piece
Love: giving someone complete power to destroy you but trusting that they won't.

things i was thinking...

Did you ever fall for someone you knew you shouldn't
try hard to fight your feeling, but you couldn't
you fall deeper with each passing day
but try to hide it in every possible way
He's only a friend and nothing else--
thats the lie you keep telling yourself
you keep on saying he's just a bud
but deep inside your falling in love
you get so get so giddy when you meet his eyes
you keep reminding yourself it isn't right
a simple glance turns into a stare
but you pretend you don't care
it's not right for you two to be
is that why you hide is so no one can see
but how long will you pretend?
keep lying that he's just a friend?
perhaps your feelings can never show
perhaps it's wrong for him to know
your friendship can't be risked over this
but what if it ends in pure bliss?
being his girl must be my impossible wish...

Darkness

screamming from the dark pit you shoved me into lying and cheating and stealin.the worst thing you said was i love you. can you hear me cause this ones for you. gonna bring back the pain and replay the game things jus arent the same when i look up at you i feel so ashamed. bringing past emotions when they were one sided and broken. looking in the mirror i dont recognize who i see i just wanna be me. can't u see we just can't be. i don't wanna be your little secret when things i quiet and dim. bc ur reflection cannot show you what lies inside. Don't mess with my head baby you lost your chance what we had was no more than puppy romance.calm on the outside screaming on the in why do i rely on what could have been. im not living for u im living for me, nothing vicariously nothing left but fake feelings of what shoudnt be.


Goodbye

whats happening?

anyone ever have THE feeling? the kind where you fall so hard for the person you like, it doesn't even matter if you're complete opposites. You sometimes wonder why you like them, but they never really leave your mind. Some people might think they're the most unattractive person, but for you, u think they are so cute no one can measure up to them. The butterfly feeling you get when they just call your name. When you listen to the music they like simply because they like it.. and you despise it. How heartbroken you get when they're either dating someone else, or had a history with someone that isn't you. When you feel free enough to show your worse side to them, and they don't freak out. When you talk about him to your friends nearly nonstop because you like them so much. When you like them, but you don't know if they like you.
This is me

idk......

Your kno who you ae you are who you know.... or at least i hope soo!
livin the dream lovin the life finding your love.......?????
Bring back my Heart?!?!
Scream: from the end of the bottomless pit. can you hear my calls? i am sending u a message you wont understand..... it 3 little words.... i love you!!! did u get it?
I am.......... complicated trying to figure me out if lik a rubicks cube!!!
some say the truth is overrated...its not... its the truth..u dnt like my version of it den ur a liar!!!!
do u believe in love at first sight or do i need to walk by again???!!!

Things i wrote during free tme during the practice NJASK......

I'm still cool im ice cold andi dare anybody to try and melt me now. I'm on top of the world and no one can push me down.I wear a smile i dont rock a frown. I'm still hot im burning up.And i dare anyone to try and cool me down.

Many minds adrift
desperate for a thought to come
time to take a test!

Trapped in a dungeon. A dungeon called school. The lies and gossip are the metal bars on my cell the fake two faced people are my guards. They guard you to make sure you aren't happy. If you cut your way thourgh the bars and ignore the guards you might just survive the Dungeon.





Hatred
Hatred rules the world. all the innocent souls are sucked into a spinning vortex of lies and deception. The voices of cruelty wisper and swirl around me, and soon they take over the neighborhood. But as i step into my twilight zone i am safe from the Evil hatred around me. And i become the last innocent soul all alone in a dark place without a flashlight.i am forced to survive without a clue of what i was stepping into the bus to the future came all to fast and there was no way off once you got on. all you could do was sit and wait and watch as life around everycorner past you by oppurtunities pass and soon the ride is over but were you end up you decide.